Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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