Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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