member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
