she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
