i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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