we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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