Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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