I need help removing her.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
In America we eat man semen.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
