OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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