was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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