I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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