areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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