WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
