I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
