All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
