I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
