Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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