wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
