Little spoons don't ask big questions
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
