I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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