Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
