So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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