i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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