BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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