So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i love accidental penises.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
