Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
