I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
