Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wear drunk well.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize