im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
