we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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