Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
