Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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