it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
