Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
