Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
