therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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