I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
