Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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