Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

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(337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out. http://tfl.nu/7k9a

Replies (11) Good night (5396) Bad night (651)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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(502): Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks. http://tfl.nu/e7zg

Replies (17) Good night (544) Bad night (3701)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

Replies (12) Good night (2788) Bad night (627)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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(715): Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel. http://tfl.nu/yi2m

Replies (15) Good night (3219) Bad night (945)
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(206): View more from Washington

This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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(206): This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate http://tfl.nu/vfhs

Replies (6) Good night (2303) Bad night (1562)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

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(704): Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now. http://tfl.nu/n39e

Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (1276)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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(203): Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/gq2j

Replies (27) Good night (2673) Bad night (651)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp

Replies (6) Good night (3058) Bad night (1221)
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(310): View more from California

Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12

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(310): Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12 http://tfl.nu/ovmd

Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (428)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs

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(816): Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs http://tfl.nu/jmh5

Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (649)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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(613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub

Replies (7) Good night (1430) Bad night (338)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?

(816): View more from Missouri

Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.

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(573): Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls? (816): Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do. http://tfl.nu/ewbx

Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (255)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.

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(540): Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach. http://tfl.nu/d58b

Replies (3) Good night (223) Bad night (560)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

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(202): I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL http://tfl.nu/l7q5

Replies (9) Good night (442) Bad night (253)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.

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(312): Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it. http://tfl.nu/okpd

Replies (5) Good night (420) Bad night (212)

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