Umm I'm too high to move.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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