ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
