she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night