I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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