have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my being single is dangerous.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"