shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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