***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize