I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
