So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
