what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
