Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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