why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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