I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
