I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
