I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
