so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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