you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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