dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
