Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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