Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
