dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
