the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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