how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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