Your dad touched me again.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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