He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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