You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
