it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
