chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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