is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
