i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
