Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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