maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
